Breathing Together: David Bowie is The Cat from Outer Space

Welcome to my conspiracy corner, Breathing Together! The word conspire means, quite literally, to breathe together. It holds no negative or positive connotations, nor does it imply the sort of outlandish guesswork lacking in basis for reality that we’ve come to associate with the term. In fact, I’ll get into where those wild notions came from in a future article—though, you can probably guess that it has something to do with obfuscation by co-conspirators.

First off, we need to know about The Cat from Outer Space, otherwise the title won’t be half as amusing. If you like cats, and you like science fiction, this film is a must-watch. It also proves definitively that cats are much better actors than dogs, provided they approve of the material they’re working with. Watching this film, it’s very clear that the cat or cats involved are deeply invested in a storyline featuring themselves as a superintelligent alien feline who strikes the humans he encounters with awe and wonder. Crazy, right? (No, says everyone who’s ever met a cat.)

See these eyes so green
I can stare for a thousand years
Colder than the moon
It's been so long
David Bowie - Cat People (Putting Out Fire)

Now, here’s where I’m taking a hard left into high weirdness, but let’s establish that everyone reading this, if not believes, then at least strongly suspects that David Bowie is/was/will be an alien*. That sort of suspicion might cause one to wonder, then... what kind of alien? I think you know where I’m going with this... but let’s next move our focus to the subject of ‘alien races suspected by conspiracy theorists to have played a role in the shaping of the Earth’. You’ve probably heard of Greys, Reptillians, and Nordics... but have you heard of Lyrans?

*Time is a delusion, keep up!

Like some cat from Japan

Now, I admit this is a little circumstantial. The suspicion occurred to me, and I wondered if anyone else had had the same idea, so I did a quick Google of the terms 'david bowie lyran'.

Here, Marina at Dark Star Astrology explains the effects of having the main star of the Lyran constellation, Vega, in a prominent placement on your natal chart. 

“It gives beneficence, ideality, hopefulness, refinement and changeability, and makes its natives grave, sober, outwardly pretentious and usually lascivious.” [1]  “Vega is supposed to give artistic talents especially for music and acting, but also a liking for good living. With eccentric artists, this may lead to a debauched life. Tied up with Jupiter or Venus, Vega is said to pave the way to riches and fame. However, if other influences play a part, this wealth may be lost again” [2]
1.Fixed Stars and Constellations in Astrology, Vivian E. Robson. p. 51. p.216.
2.Fixed Stars and Their Interpretation, Elsbeth Ebertin, 1928, p.75-76.

Bowie's Vega is in his Sun, which according to Marina would make him a very creative and yet scientifically-minded individual, while another prominent Lyran star, Sheliak, "may have less of the artistic Venusian talents of Vega and lean more towards the Mercurial energy [...]  these are people who take the law into their own hands, the way that gangsters do. They are doing it for the “family” and protecting their own blood. In their mind it is honourable, never mind who else’s guts gets bust in the process. [... They] fall around the talons of the Vulture [and] are more tenacious, practical and hands-on than the more idealistic, visionary energy of Vega".

Interestingly enough, David Bowie's occult rival Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin falls under the exact same star arrangement as him—Vega in Sun under Sheliak. A few choice quotes from a deeply interesting article (which was my teenage introduction to occult study) called The Laughing Gnostic: David Bowie and the Occult, by Peter–R. Koenig:

"I asked Angie Bowie why her ex was involved in magick. She recalled that he heard that Led Zeppelin were involved in the occult, and so he wanted to be even cooler and scare Jimmy Page.

By 1970 Page was obsessed with Aleister Crowley, had a growing collection of Crowleyana and that same year bought one of the most treasured Crowleyan artefacts of all: Boleskine House on the shore of Loch Ness in Scotland which was Crowley's estate from 1899 to 1913. Later on it had been the site of a swindle involving many of the local farmers and a fictitious sausage works. [Emphasis mine, b/c duh]


David Bowie decided to retaliate with that kind of magick, and allegedly said to his wife that he would do so with what he knew of Tibetan magic ("the dark side of Buddhism" as he called it) as everything to do with Aleister Crowley was "small shit."

I don't have any more wild speculation to offer on that account, except... catfight!

Some of you may be wondering why you should listen to me... what expertise do I have? Well, I can tell you that I've been a card-carrying Areaologist since 2004, and have also studied extensively with the Church of Areaology since that same time. As a young initiate, I wore out the tape on a very specific scene of The Man Who Fell to Earth—so you can be assured that I take this kind of baseless speculation very seriously, since I've been engaged in similar baseless speculation about other parts of Bowie for literally half my life.

I'd like to close this first article of Breathing Together with a favorite quote of mine by Old Bob.

“You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.“
- Robert Anton Wilson

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