Breathing Together: David Bowie is The Cat from Outer Space

Welcome to my conspiracy corner, Breathing Together! The word conspire means, quite literally, to breathe together. It holds no negative or positive connotations, nor does it imply the sort of outlandish guesswork lacking in basis for reality that we’ve come to associate with the term. In fact, I’ll get into where those wild notions came from in a future article—though, you can probably guess that it has something to do with obfuscation by co-conspirators.

First off, we need to know about The Cat from Outer Space, otherwise the title won’t be half as amusing. If you like cats, and you like science fiction, this film is a must-watch. It also proves definitively that cats are much better actors than dogs, provided they approve of the material they’re working with. Watching this film, it’s very clear that the cat or cats involved are deeply invested in a storyline featuring themselves as a superintelligent alien feline who strikes the humans he encounters with awe and wonder. Crazy, right? (No, says everyone who’s ever met a cat.)

See these eyes so green
I can stare for a thousand years
Colder than the moon
It's been so long
David Bowie - Cat People (Putting Out Fire)

Now, here’s where I’m taking a hard left into high weirdness, but let’s establish that everyone reading this, if not believes, then at least strongly suspects that David Bowie is/was/will be an alien*. That sort of suspicion might cause one to wonder, then... what kind of alien? I think you know where I’m going with this... but let’s next move our focus to the subject of ‘alien races suspected by conspiracy theorists to have played a role in the shaping of the Earth’. You’ve probably heard of Greys, Reptillians, and Nordics... but have you heard of Lyrans?

*Time is a delusion, keep up!

Like some cat from Japan

Now, I admit this is a little circumstantial. The suspicion occurred to me, and I wondered if anyone else had had the same idea, so I did a quick Google of the terms 'david bowie lyran'.

Here, Marina at Dark Star Astrology explains the effects of having the main star of the Lyran constellation, Vega, in a prominent placement on your natal chart. 

“It gives beneficence, ideality, hopefulness, refinement and changeability, and makes its natives grave, sober, outwardly pretentious and usually lascivious.” [1]  “Vega is supposed to give artistic talents especially for music and acting, but also a liking for good living. With eccentric artists, this may lead to a debauched life. Tied up with Jupiter or Venus, Vega is said to pave the way to riches and fame. However, if other influences play a part, this wealth may be lost again” [2]
1.Fixed Stars and Constellations in Astrology, Vivian E. Robson. p. 51. p.216.
2.Fixed Stars and Their Interpretation, Elsbeth Ebertin, 1928, p.75-76.

Bowie's Vega is in his Sun, which according to Marina would make him a very creative and yet scientifically-minded individual, while another prominent Lyran star, Sheliak, "may have less of the artistic Venusian talents of Vega and lean more towards the Mercurial energy [...]  these are people who take the law into their own hands, the way that gangsters do. They are doing it for the “family” and protecting their own blood. In their mind it is honourable, never mind who else’s guts gets bust in the process. [... They] fall around the talons of the Vulture [and] are more tenacious, practical and hands-on than the more idealistic, visionary energy of Vega".

Interestingly enough, David Bowie's occult rival Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin falls under the exact same star arrangement as him—Vega in Sun under Sheliak. A few choice quotes from a deeply interesting article (which was my teenage introduction to occult study) called The Laughing Gnostic: David Bowie and the Occult, by Peter–R. Koenig:

"I asked Angie Bowie why her ex was involved in magick. She recalled that he heard that Led Zeppelin were involved in the occult, and so he wanted to be even cooler and scare Jimmy Page.

By 1970 Page was obsessed with Aleister Crowley, had a growing collection of Crowleyana and that same year bought one of the most treasured Crowleyan artefacts of all: Boleskine House on the shore of Loch Ness in Scotland which was Crowley's estate from 1899 to 1913. Later on it had been the site of a swindle involving many of the local farmers and a fictitious sausage works. [Emphasis mine, b/c duh]


David Bowie decided to retaliate with that kind of magick, and allegedly said to his wife that he would do so with what he knew of Tibetan magic ("the dark side of Buddhism" as he called it) as everything to do with Aleister Crowley was "small shit."

I don't have any more wild speculation to offer on that account, except... catfight!

Some of you may be wondering why you should listen to me... what expertise do I have? Well, I can tell you that I've been a card-carrying Areaologist since 2004, and have also studied extensively with the Church of Areaology since that same time. As a young initiate, I wore out the tape on a very specific scene of The Man Who Fell to Earth—so you can be assured that I take this kind of baseless speculation very seriously, since I've been engaged in similar baseless speculation about other parts of Bowie for literally half my life.

I'd like to close this first article of Breathing Together with a favorite quote of mine by Old Bob.

“You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.“
- Robert Anton Wilson


nº 19: Imbolc & KonMari

Hello, world! It's been a few years since I last wrote here, but the time has come to return to blogging. Isn't everyone just thoroughly sick of social media? I miss personal websites, where people lived in their own little world and shared a bit of that with the audience... all the photos on Instagram are roughly alike, high-gloss booty shots and even the wildest makeup looks eerily similar to someone else's work. Of course we all take inspiration from one another, but there comes to be a tipping point where the lines become blurred and everything is just a little too same-y.

Not to say that I truly mind, because I don't! The zeitgeist has always fascinated me, and it's never been more zeitgeist-y than now. Besides, I'm an Aquarian, so the bandwagon delights me when it gets overcrowded. I just feel even more ~*uNiQuE*~

Since I began writing here in august of 2010, a lot has changed in my life. I used to be a thoroughly dense "internet atheist", happy to tell you how stupid you were for believing in anything, while I vigorously and metaphorically jerked Dick Dawkins off. Then Twitter got big, the glaring xenophobia and sexism of those scientific materialists reared it's head larger and uglier than ever before, and I had several unrelated 'mental breakdowns', during which the Earth spoke to me and told me I was a witch. She also suggested that I not mention that to my psychiatrists at the hospital—luckily, my current psychologist has her own practice, and I don't mean her office. *WINK*

Today is January 2nd, and in 30 days comes Imbolc/Imbolg or Saint Brigid's Day. My partner and myself are both of Celtic descent, and late last year we adopted a sweet cornsnake who we've named Brigid, after the above-mentioned goddess—she's actually curled up next to me right now, under a pillow. Imbolc is, among other things, a festival of ritual cleansing... which brings me to my next point: Last year, I became acquainted and obsessed with The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo.

Growing up, I lived in a genuine 'Hoarders'-level hoarded double-wide trailer, with piles of clothes and garbage waist-high, and the lingering stink of cat piss on all of my garments. Told by my abusive mother that the garbage was my fault, and that I was the cause and only possible solution to the chaos I lived in, I developed a broken relationship with possessions and tidying. (There's more to it than just that, but let's keep things simple for now.)

I've already gotten mostly through the 'KonMari' method once, just before I moved out of my old room and into the apartment I share with my partner Tim. It was hard but rewarding, even though I found a lot of difficulty in 'sparking joy' during an activity that brought up so many traumatic experiences.

This year, Tim and I are doing the KonMari method together, beginning after we come back from a family visit this weekend, to be completed just in time for Imbolc on February 1st/2nd. February is our birth month—his birthday being Valentine's and my own being the day after, February 15th. We have a lot of wonderful plans for creation, growth, opulence and abundance this year, and I can't think of a better way to set ourselves up for success than by reviewing all of our possessions and our life plans for the new year, releasing that which no longer aligns with our goals. Amen ashe!

Brigid Natalie in the money tree - shortly after this, she got herself wedged in the radiator for two hours


nº 18: alice auaa a/w 2013

Guest post by Hz.

The relationship between cloth and oneself on distinctive, inexplicable and indiscernible levels exudes an aura, when the fabric no longer serves as a mere second skin but becomes an atmosphere. This collection undoubtedly stands in its stance a majesty to be revered.

The brush softly paints in gothic yet dreamlike strokes, the consistency of which parallels the faded smoothness of the textures. Flourishes interweaves and layers build upon itself to become a cage that quietly shuts in the stunning visual landscape.

 The monochrome is a characteristic of exceptional focus, daring one to walk along subtle shades of ambiguity. What I sense, above all else, is the delicate balance between the fragile velvet, a viscous liquid on which disturbances ripples in glacial eternity; a sharpened concentration on details, forcing an acute attention to observe through the thinnest of scalpels; and the perennial webs, which far from a symbol of desolation exist, like dreams, in timelessness.


Editor's Note: Who doesn't love a collection that closes with a DEAD BABY?


nº 17: giles a/w 2015 rtw

I haven't gotten excited about a collection in a long time, but Giles stunning gothic glamour has me smitten. I saw a photo of the final look, this amazing holographic concoction, on an article about fashion week with no credit as to where it came from, and scoured the internet trying to figure out who it was by before a friend thankfully clued me in. There's nothing not to love about this collection... I'm definitely going to have to go try the hologram dress on come autumn. Maybe I can't afford it, but I can torture myself by seeing how it looks in person, can't I?



nº 16: back in black; wang a/w 15

Goth is back, bitches. I'm taking in the past fashion week while trying to finish off some IRL business (moving house), so I'll be back later on with a lot more to say. It feels like 2010 all over again, but better. So glad we're all on the same undead page here.